Skull la Crossbones
by SiFi270
Summary: Kill la Kill, with pirates! Ryuko Matoi sets sail for Honnou Island, seeking the person who killed her father with a strangely designed cutlass she has with her. She's soon directed to Governor Satsuki Kiryuin, who has the answers, but intends to keep them to herself. The two quickly find themselves locked in a feud that extends beyond the island and across the seven seas!
1. Chapter 1

It was a surprisingly quiet day for Honnou Island. The slums had a far-reaching reputation as a wretched hive of scum and villainy, but there was little of that to be seen at the moment. But then again, it wasn't even 9am yet. Something was sure to happen sooner or later.

The wheels of fate began to spin faster as a small, inconspicuous rowboat approached the island. On board was somebody feared among civilians and pirates alike, though nobody had heard from her in a while, and where she was going, her name wasn't likely to be known. For much of her life, she'd been jumping from crew to crew, but at the moment there was something she needed to take care of alone.

Upon arrival, she purposefully opened the door to the nearest inn, ensuring that all eyes turned towards her when she did. Though sheathed, her unusually large cutlass quickly established her as someone intimidating. Satisfied that it had gotten everyone's attention, she began to speak.

"Have any of you seen this sword before?" She said. "Maybe you've seen something like it."

The inn's patrons looked at one another, and the girl let out a frustrated sigh. She walked inside and picked a lemon from one of the shelves, taking a large bite out of it. She'd been known to eat them like this among the people aware of her reputation, and it was rumored that she did so because she was deathly afraid of scurvy. But the truth was that she just really liked lemons.

As she continued to enjoy the lemon, she felt a familiar rustling in one of her pockets: The telltale sign of someone stupid enough to try and steal from her. Upon reaching inside, she realized that the small sack of doubloons she'd brought was now gone, and she actually found herself feeling rather impressed. This pickpocket had been more successful than most, but that success wasn't going to last much longer.

Looking around, she found some of the people looking amused at what had just happened: too many for all of them to be involved. But the nervous ones were the ones she was looking for. They were murmuring things along the lines of 'he's gone too far this time', and that was what she wanted to hear.

"Who's 'he'?" She said as she approached them, startling them in the process.

"Th-the innkeeper's son," one of them said. "He's just a boy, though… please don't harm him."

"I'll consider it," she said, just for the sake of sounding threatening. "Where can I find him, then?"

"In… in the back room," another said. "...with the rest of his family."

The girl nodded gratefully and made her way there, throwing the door open as if she owned the place. Once she was inside, she immediately identified the one she was looking for, but it didn't look like getting her money back from him would be a problem.

"Who did you take this from? _Who?_"

The person saying this while pinning the boy to the ground appeared to be his older sister. She was someone the visitor would have thought twice before messing with, even if she didn't exactly look like pirate material.

"He took it from me," she said hesitantly. "I came here to get it back."

"Oh!" While sitting on his back, the elder sister pressed his head against the ground and looked towards the newcomer. "Well, here you go!" She tossed the bag over, which was quickly caught. Once she was sure her brother wouldn't try anything funny, she stood up and extended her hand. "My name's Mako, by the way. What's yours?"

"Ryuko Matoi," she answered. "I came here to ask about this sword I have with me."

Mako knelt down and inspected it closely, making Ryuko rather uncomfortable. "Hmmm… It looks like half of a giant pair of scissors."

"I know that much," Ryuko said. "Maybe you know someone who could tell me more than that?"

Mako began pondering again. "...oh! There might be someone! Follow me." She led Ryuko outside the inn, bringing her to a poster on one of the walls.

"Re-elect Governor Kiryuin," Ryuko read aloud uncertainly. "When there's only one candidate, there's only one choice."

"That's the one," Mako said. "She lives in a mansion pretty far from here, but not too far to walk. I could take you, if you want!"

"Well…" Ryuko said. "...okay. But, before I forget…" She retrieved the bag of doubloons out of her pocket. "How much were those lemons?"

"Oh," Mako said. "That'll be two pieces of eight." She giggled "That's what you pirates call them, right?"

Ryuko laughed nervously as she handed two coins. "...right. I… guess we'd better get going."

"Yeah!" Mako enthusiastically placed an arm around her shoulders and pointed straight ahead. "Right this way!"

* * *

While the path to the mansion was rather complex, the place itself would have been impossible to miss. Ryuko guessed that the balcony at the front was so that this governor could look down on all the people inhabiting her island.

"This is as far as I'm going," Mako said apologetically. "Some of the people in there are _scary_."

"I think I can handle that." Ryuko walked over to the front door and knocked. After waiting a couple of minutes, she began to hear voices from inside.

"Lady Satsuki, this is so far beneath you. I insist that I answer the door on your behalf."

"I appreciate the gesture, Fukuroda," Satsuki said, "but whoever is at this door needs to be taught some manners, and I feel that I am best suited for such a task."

"Yes, Lady Satsuki."

Finally, the door opened, and Ryuko was greeted by the same disdainful face she saw on the poster.

"Hello…" Although Ryuko was speaking politely, she was clearly being sarcastic in order to spite this person who apparently found manners to be so important. "I was told you might know something about this sword."

"I do," Satsuki said. "But I also happen to know something about you. You're a notorious pirate, like your father before you."

"It's nice to get some recognition around here," Ryuko said. "Speaking of my father… this sword was found next to his dead body. Do you know why that is?"

"As it just so happens," Satsuki said, "I do, but I see no reason to tell you."

And with that, Ryuko decided she didn't need to hear any more. Throwing caution to the wind, she drew the sword and lunged towards Satsuki with it, but before she knew it someone else was standing in her way, speaking with the other voice she heard earlier.

"Please, allow me," he said. "It's clear she's never been here before, and I'd like to give her a taste of what she can expect from the people of this island."

"Very well," Satsuki said. "I trust you have everything you need?"

He produced what looked to Ryuko like a can of spinach, but the contents inside seemed to have a faint red glow. With a simple squeeze, some of the can's contents came flying out and landed in his mouth, where he chewed them intently. As soon as he'd swallowed, Ryuko noticed his arms bulging unnaturally, but she still refused to retreat. With a furious cry, she brought her sword down upon him, but he quickly blocked with his bare fists.

"What's…" She stared at his arms in disbelief. "What's _in_ that spinach?"

"I'm no expert on the exact ingredients," he said with a smirk. "But I'm told there's a lot more fiber in it than usual!"

Before she could respond, he was spinning his fist like a windmill, until finally he let it fly forward and hit her in the jaw, sending her flying all the way back to shore.

"And that's the last we'll hear of her," he said smugly.

"Perhaps," Satsuki said. "But I have my doubts."

* * *

As dusk approach, Ryuko found herself sailing yet again to where she found the sword, in the ruins of her father's ship. It crashed into a cliffside shortly after she saw his last breath, where a beach happened to be a short paddle away. After swimming into a gaping hole left by the impact, she climbed to where it was still dry and knelt mournfully.

"I couldn't do it," she muttered. "The first chance I get to do something that means anything, and I fail. Now wha-"

She interrupted herself with a quick shriek as the wood beneath her collapsed, and she was soon under the surface again. Despite her attempts to get back up, something around her leg appeared to be pulling her down, and as much as she struggled, it soon overpowered her with a forceful tug, and she got a brief glimpse of it.

The most distinctive feature on it appeared to be a glowing yellow eye, with a crossed eyepatch over the other. The rest of its design brought to mind the classic Jolly Roger image seen on too many flags to count, and it was at this point that Ryuko concluded that this was a hallucination she was facing in her final moments. Moments later, she heard a voice she decided was a solid confirmation of her theory.

"Wear me, and feed me blood!"

* * *

If anyone was on the nearby beach at that time, they would have seen the shipwreck rattle and shake for a couple of seconds before suddenly breaking in half, with a strangely clad figure leaping several feet into the air from between the two halves.

Moments later, Ryuko Matoi landed on that beach, and she now felt ready to return to Satsuki's mansion.

* * *

A/N: If you've been reading _She Blinded Me With Science_, don't let this worry you: I'm still working on that as well. In other news, ARRRR!


	2. Chapter 2

When Ryuko got back to Honnou Island the next day, it was somehow even quieter than before. While she assumed it was nothing, she kept her guard up nonetheless, and when she returned to Satsuki's mansion, she decided she was right to do so.

The mansion was empty save for an unsettlingly polite butler, who nonetheless refused to volunteer any information beyond Satsuki currently being absent. Eventually, the door was closed on her, and already she was running low on options.

It soon occurred to her that Mako might still be of help, since she knew the island better than Ryuko did. If nothing else, Mako could tell her whether or not this was a common occurrence, and with this in mind, Ryuko made her way back to the inn.

But the inn was also considerably more empty than it was earlier. Sure, there was only one less person than before, but that one person had one hell of a presence, at least in Ryuko's opinion.

Once again freely entering the back room, she turned her attention to Mako's family. "Where's Mako?"

"Oh, she's been invited to a nice tropical island for lunch," Mako's mother said, "as a way of apologizing for the trouble she went through yesterday. What was it called, now... Isle Abekamo?"

"Isle Abek..." Ryuko stopped herself. "That place is run by cannibals! She'll _be_ lunch unless someone saves her in time!"

This was met with the exact response Ryuko had expected, but hoped against: Instant panic. It took her some time to make herself heard over the commotion, but when she punched the floorboards hard enough to split one of them in two, there was silence again.

"And we _can_ save her in time," she said firmly. "Or rather, I can. The rowboat I came in only has room for me, but it'll be faster than an entire ship. Trust me, I have experience with this, and you'll be safer here."

The others reluctantly agreed, and Ryuko soon made haste, setting out to save this girl she barely knew.

"Oh!" If Mako's hands weren't tied, she would have slapped her forehead. "Now I get it! _I'm_ the main course, aren't I? Well, if you'd just _said so..._ You know, I think I'd make a better dessert... Put some whipped cream here and there, some hot fudge, and a cherry on top..." She began to drool. "Yeah, I don't blame you guys. If I wasn't so busy _being_ me, I'd eat me too!"

The cannibals of Isle Abekamo were very tempted to lower her into the cauldron and get it over with. But Fukuroda had insisted she be kept as a hostage, under Satsuki's orders. The cannibals' irritation was beginning to outweigh their hunger, and if nothing happened soon, they considered taking the risk of trying to eat Fukuroda.

But finally, something happened. A rowboat with a cloaked figure inside could be seen on the horizon, and it was getting closer much more rapidly than it should have been. As it drew nearer, it looked like the person inside the boat was rowing with their bare hands, and the cloak was struggling to stay on them.

When they finally reached the shore, the cloak had flown off, and Ryuko Matoi leapt from the boat, landing several yards in front of it. She had a very stern expression on her face, but everyone present was distracted by another detail.

Simply put, the outfit chosen looked very questionable, for a pirate or otherwise. The absurdly short skirt was perhaps the tamest thing about it, but the rest was just a pair of red suspenders connected to two large epaulettes that seemed to be there just to cover what needed to be covered. There was, of course, a strap going around the front and back of her collar to keep them connected, but that seemed more of an afterthought than anything else.

But the strangest thing about these epaulettes was the fact that they seemed to lean forward slightly, and on top of one of them was a large eye. The other was simply black with a cross over it, like some form of eyepatch.

"Lady Satsuki thought you'd be back," Fukuroda said. "But if you're going to come here looking like that..." He held back laughter. "...you just shouldn't have bothered."

Ryuko continued to advance towards him. While her movements didn't seem at all hesitant, her facial expression showed great reluctance. She knew perfectly well how ridiculous she looked, but now she had the power to take on Fukuroda.

"Start eating that spinach," she said. "You're going to need it if we're going to settle this."

With a confident smile, Fukuroda reached for a pile and started chewing, swallowing more quickly than he probably should have. Once Ryuko saw his muscles assume the shape they had before, she brought out her cutlass and swung it towards him.

He blocked, just as he had before, but he was caught off guard when the blade managed to leave a nasty scratch on his arm. With a yelp of pain, he jumped back and reconsidered his strategy, knowing all too well that he'd have more than a scratch to worry about if he got careless.

Seeing no other option, he ran straight at her while swinging an arm until it became a circular blur at his side. As soon as he was close enough, he threw a punch, which immediately hit her cutlass with an unsatisfying "thunk".

"Don't you have any other tricks up your sleeve?" Ryuko grinned spitefully. "Then again, I doubt there'd be any room with your arms swelling up like that." She grabbed one of the arms and squeezed it tightly, earning another cry of pain. "Not very practical, if you ask me. Right now, that extra muscle's just dead weight." She chuckled slightly upon noticing a tattoo of an anchor on one of the arms. "Really though, strength-granting spinach? I've seen a lot of strange things as a pirate, but that's just going..." She lifted him from the ground. "..._overboard_."

Upon hearing Mako's enthusiastic cheers, Ryuko effortlessly tossed Fukuroda over her shoulder and into the ocean. Finally, the only obstacle standing between her and Mako's rescue was the horde of cannibals, but they all seemed eager to move out of the way after seeing what Ryuko was capable of. Once the cauldron was moved aside, Ryuko cut through the rope holding Mako and quickly caught her.

"Oh my gosh!" Mako squealed. "Pirates are so cool! Where do I sign up?"

Ryuko couldn't help but smile at her spirit. "We can talk about that later. First, let's get you home."

A/N: It's so tempting for the author's notes to be "ARRR!" for every chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

Ryuko was known among pirates for having a very short temper, and this only made them more afraid of her. But as she and Mako sailed back to Honnou Island, she managed to keep her cool the entire time even though Mako simply wouldn't shut up.

"So what does 'shiver me timbers' mean?"

"Pirates usually say it when they're shocked or frustrated," Ryuko said calmly.

"What about 'avast'?"

"That just means stop," Ryuko said.

By the time they reached Honnou Island, Ryuko was about to finish defining 'rattle me bones' when she noticed Mako's family waiting excitedly for them. Ryuko found herself unable to resist smiling and waving, glad that none of her pirate friends or foes were there to see this side of her.

* * *

"So what are you going to do now?" Mako said as they enjoyed dinner together. "If you don't have anywhere to stay, we'd be more than happy to let…"

"I can't stay," Ryuko said. "Satsuki still hasn't returned, and I have to find her if I want answers."

"The adventure never ends when you're a pirate, huh?" Mako said enviously. "...you're going to need a crew, aren't you?"

"I don't like where this is going," Ryuko said.

"Why not?" Mako said. "If we were your crew, you'd have a doctor," she pointed to her father, "a cook," she pointed to her mother, "and the cabin boy, whatever that entails!" She finished by pointing to her brother.

"Not to mention an impressive pickpocket," Ryuko said under her breath.

"And finally," Mako continued obliviously, "while we don't have a shoulder-parrot, we _do_ have a dog we can take with us!"

"...hold on," Ryuko said. "Are the rest of you really okay with this?"

"Oh, we discussed it hours ago," Mako's mother said casually. "Mataro has some very trustworthy friends who can look after this inn for us while we're gone."

"I'm hoping I shouldn't have to ask this," Ryuko said, looking at the male members of the family, "but… which one of you is Mataro?"

"That'd be me," said the boy who had picked her pocket.

At this point, the only option Ryuko saw besides giving in was changing the subject. "These croquettes are really good. What's in them?"

Mako's mother laughed. "Usually, that's a secret. But I don't see a problem sharing it with you. In no particular order… Kerosene, propylene glycol, artificial sweeteners, sulphuric acid, rum, acetone, red dye number two, scumm, axle grease, battery acid, and/or pepperoni."

Ryuko nodded and took another bite. "Like I said, they're delicious."

* * *

The next morning, Ryuko woke up before anyone else could so that she could leave alone as she'd planned. Once she had everything ready, she took a moment to grab a small piece of paper and started writing on it.

"Morning, Ryuko," Mako said. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm just writing a 'thank you' note," Ryuko said, "so that you and your family will see it when you wak…" She suddenly turned around and, upon confirming who was behind her, nearly jumped out of her skin. "Shiver me timbers, Mako! Where did you come from?"

"My bed?" Mako shrugged. "I dunno, I'm more of a 'where I'm going' person than a 'where I've been' person. And today, I'm going on a swashbuckling adventure with you!"

Even though she didn't understand it, it was the blissful expression Mako had when she said that that finally convinced Ryuko. It was just the kind of face she didn't want to let down.

"Okay," she said. "So while everyone's still asleep… how about you and I look for a ship?"

"Great!" Mako said. "I know the perfect place!"

* * *

Mako brought Ryuko to Naniawa Kinman Island, where Kaneo Takarada was in the business of selling many impressive ships. Mako had never met him in person before, but fliers advertising his services had reached Honnou Island in the past. Mako had also heard good things about the food available on that island, and as she spent the journey rambling about what she wanted to try, Ryuko suspected an ulterior motive for visiting.

"Welcome aboard, mateys!" Takarada stood with his arms spread out as they arrived. "If it's a ship you want, you've come to the right place! What kind are you looking for?"

"A big one," Mako said excitedly, "with lots of firepower!" She drove her point home by imitating the sound of cannons firing, followed by explosions."

Ryuko nodded uncertainly. "Durability's also important. Something that's just as good at taking cannon fire as it is dishing it out."

"That can certainly be arranged." Takarada led them to a ship that matched that description. "Now take a look at this one! I couldn't say how it ended up in my hands, but there are _rumors_," he said insistently, "that it was plundered from Governor Kiryuin's armada before a series of trades brought it here. No one can say for sure though. But the hull!" He tapped his knuckles against it for emphasis. "The hull is the real mystery! Nobody knows what it's made of, but it's said to be truly indestructible! Notice the unearthly red glow. Doesn't it _intrigue_ you?"

"It does!" Mako said enthusiastically. "This ship is getting more amazing by the second! Ryuko, can we afford it?"

"We're about to find out," Ryuko said, producing the many adventures worth of gold she'd prepared for this journey. Takarada's eyes practically turned into dollar signs at the sight of it, and it was clear to them both how willing he now was to part with this ship he'd practically written a love letter to moments before.

"It's yours!" He said. "Take it! Have fun with it! The day is still young!"

Ryuko suddenly looked at Mako. "That reminds me. Your family's probably up by now. We should probably bring this over and meet up with th-"

She quickly realized that Mako had disappeared from her sight mere seconds ago, and was already aboard the ship. With a wry smile, Ryuko climbed up and joined there, and they quickly set sail.

* * *

"This thing should totally have a name," Mako said. "How about… the HMS Ryumako?"

"The what?" Ryuko said.

"Ryumako!" Mako said. "A great name for an even better ship! A ship that sails strong no matter what's thrown at it! A ship to be shipped until the end of time! A ship forever associated with the word 'cannon'! Ryuko, Ryumako is the One True Ship, and anyone who disagrees couldn't be more wrong! This is our ship, and it's the best ship!"

Again, Ryuko found it impossible to argue with Mako's enthusiasm. "Yeah… that certainly sounds like a ship worth 'shipping'."

* * *

A/N: Arrr! What better day to be bringin' back this story than Talk Like a Pirate Day!

...these canon/cannon puns be drivin' me nuts...


End file.
